Kristin Cavallari is ready to really talk about her divorce from Jay Cutler, to whom she was married for 10 years. The couple had three children together during that time: Camden, 8; Jaxon, 6; and Saylor, 4. The reality star filed for divorce in April and didn’t speak at length about what happened until this week for People‘s new issue.

Cavallari addressed why it happened, explaining that this breakup didn’t happen suddenly. It resulted after they tried for years to repair their relationship.

“It didn’t happen overnight,” Cavallari said of the split. “We tried really, really hard for years and years. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.” The two are co-parenting well now, she added: “I still care so much about him and talk to him almost every day. We have three kids together. He’s going to be in my life forever.”

But the reason their marriage didn’t work was in part because they outgrew each other, Cavallari admitted. “Every relationship has their stuff,” she said. “I met Jay when I was 23. I was a baby. Jay and I had so much love for each other, but we grew up. When you work at something for so many years and nothing’s changing, I think you have to just make a decision. We all want to be happy.”

Cavallari added that she feels relief now that her reality show Very Cavallari is ending. “I just knew I was going to have to talk about everything, and I didn’t want to,” she said. “Thinking about filming was giving me anxiety. My kids are the most important thing to me. What’s best for them? Probably not doing a reality show, having to talk about divorcing their dad.”

Cavallari announced her split from Cutler in April on her Instagram, asking for privacy. “With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce,” she wrote. “We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made, and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart. We ask everyone to respect our privacy as we navigate this difficult time within our family.”

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