One of the common refrains in the self-care community is that no one owes anyone anything. This is meant with the best of intentions. It is meant to give people permission to say no. No to plans, no to overwork, no to expectations of perpetual availability. In this context, I think it is a healthy notion! But like most things, when it is removed from its original context, it takes on a life of its own. And that life can be pretty dark.
It seems like this idea has been carried further along its logical track, now being used to suggest that we never owe anyone a return call or a second chance or anything, really, that acknowledges our shared humanity.
And I get it. The sky has been dominated by Saturn-ruled signs for years now. We’re all guarding our resources carefully. We’ve been running on empty for too long and most of us just don’t have any compassion to spare.
But this is changing. Jupiter’s short time in Pisces is giving us a preview of what’s to come. And what’s to come, I think, is a counter-wave of love and community. I know we all have so little grace to give. But think about how it would feel if you were given a little grace right now? Or what about some extra kindness, or a gift with no strings attached? What if someone took the extra time to sit with you when you’re sad or to celebrate your achievements? What if someone said they believed in you fully and completely and that you never have to prove yourself to them in order to be seen as worthy? How sweet would that be?
And the thing about life is that when we give those things, we tend to receive them as well. Our cups are running dry, and they have been for a while. But I don’t think we can fill them by jealously guarding the drops we have left. I think we fill them by sharing what we have and building community. I think we fill them by being there for each other and having faith that others will be there for us. I think the best way to receive love is to give love recklessly and with abandon.
I don’t mean we shouldn’t protect ourselves and our resources. Most of us have learned the hard way that boundaries are for our own protection and that there are some people and situations that will happily bleed us dry if we let them. But that, luckily, represents a small minority of our lives. Most of us are good people trying our best to survive and do right by other people in the process. And we could all use a little benefit of the doubt.
Now may not be the right time. As Jupiter retrogrades back into Aquarius, we will be in Saturn’s territory once again. But when Jupiter enters Pisces again in December, I think we’ll see a sea-change. My guess is that 2022 will be a lot softer than 2021.
Of course, maybe the trend is right. Maybe we don’t owe anyone anything. But maybe we should give anyway. Maybe we should muster all the love in our hearts and spread it around like confetti. It certainly can’t make the world worse, and it might just make it better.
What do you think we owe other people?